Dougall

I might be missing a few steps here but I didn't get this idea til halfway through making my dinner.

Cooking the mother*ucking chicken! Boneless chicken thighs, I de-boned my own thighs to save a few cents but I'm a pro at about only 5 minutes to de-bone 6 thighs, but if your rich buy them bitches boneless! Sear them in olive oil then add a little fresh lemon juice and pepper. I then added some cabbage and bit of vinegar, not much maybe a teaspoon, for some tart along with some garlic and a serrano pepper cause I like em' spicy bros. Garnished with a little basil cause it's delicious and pretty.



Boom, now time for the lip smacking home made mother*ucking dumplings, or if your name is Takaoni, DUMPRRRINGS. Make your batter, that sh*t ain't hard, flour, salt, butter, milk. Mix it up! I warm up the butter in the milk so I'm not putting cold milk in my flour. Will that cold sh*t milk harden the biscuits? I dunno, I'm not a f*cking chemist! It's how we do in HUR. Maybe it ain't right but it damn sure ain't wrong! I then quenelle them sh*ts cause I don't want to get doughy sh*t all over my fabulous fingers and because I can! Deal with it! BAM!



Now time to get these bitches swimming in my broth. Open the stock pot, it ain't hard! Put them all in together or they won't cook even. I don't want to hear how your dumplings ain't sh*t cause they're all cooked uneven! I made the stock with the bones from the chicken, carrots, onions, celery, garlic, pepper, salt, a pinch of red pepper, some cloves and secret stock ingredient, 5 spice cause the bit of anise makes you go, "Is that a bit of anise? Damn that sh*t makes it pop!" I don't know nothing bout no Skrillex (or SkrillLESS if you ask me) but here's the drop! BIZOOM!



But Dougall, bro, how can I tell when my dumplings are done? Is your stock boiling? Give it about 10 minutes covered, and don't peek cause I'll know. Check em at 5 and turn em over for even cooking. If your biscuits sank, some sh*t went wrong somewhere and this might not be the thing for you, it ain't hard! At 10 if they are gooey on the outside and (mmmm) so hot and moist on the (mmmm) inside then them bitches are done man!



So what's it all look like when it's done? F*cking delicious! Dougie fresh slice, did you really, I MEAN REALLY serve that finger licking chicken on top of a scoop of Kraft Mac and CHEEZ...Damn right I did! Cause who doesn't love some motherf*cking Kraft Mac and CHEEZ, ain't nobody got time for any other kind! Unless I make home made mac and cheese, but that's a whole nother blog spot. So finally the PRODUCT, or Plating if you're on the Iron Chef.



10/10 Would bang!

Thanks for reading if you got this far! Twas' fun! Maybe another chapter!? Who knows!? Will the sponsor allow for it!? Guess we'll wait and see! If the instructions weren't clear, leave a comment! I don't want nobody getting their dick stuck!